Important Breakup Rules… By ME.

Important (noteable) rules that I have learned in one month.

• The radio is NOT your friend.  All music seems to be about love, heartache, breakups, whatever! Stay away. Listen to a premade playlist or play rap music.  Rap music doesn’t seem to have feelings other than confidence boosting and hater-ade.
• People will notice that you look like shit.  “You look tired”,  “Are you OK?”, and “Are you feeling OK?”  will be questions that you are frequently asked.  Don’t let it get to you too much… It’s not like you will look like this for the rest of your life.
• You now have 5 different personalities.  This is always fun.. Who will you be today? Who will you be in an hour?  Get to know them all… they all have important lessons that you need to learn.
• Remembering the good times seems  a lot easier than reminding yourself of the future and what you actually deserve.  In your dialogue with yourself avoid those passing thoughts of “Remember when we…” Do not go there. Remember what it is that you actually want and deserve.
• Sleep is a foreign concept.  Sleep? What is that?…
• Questioning yourself and your decisions is now something that is constant.  You’ve lost a little self confidence and this will reflect in all aspects of your life.
• EVERYONE else is suddenly an expert on all things related to breaking up.  There will be no shortage of positive advice, quotes, and what you SHOULD be doing.  Try to listen with a positive mind… even if you really want to tell them to shove it right back up their ass.
• You know the rules of a break up.  You’ve read the books, you’ve seen the movies, and you have read the blog ;)..  In your life time you have most likely given a friend advice on a breakup. Well, those rules apply to you too.
• Move at your own pace. No one is keeping score of the relationship hurdles that you have overcome! Things come at the exact moment in time that they should. Until then let yourself breathe.
• You know yourself better than anyone else does… Somewhere in that beautiful mind of yours; you know what will make you happy, what makes you feel worse, and what needs to happen during these hard times. Listen to yourself.
• People will say crappy things about your ex. Do NOT defend them… Just remember only you and your EX know everything that went down. Your ex isn’t perfect and you aren’t the angel you’ve presented yourself to be.
• The blame game is a losing game.  Accept what your role in your relationship was, accept your role in the breakup, and accept that maybe there isn’t really anyone to blame. It is what it is.
• Memory Lane has a 5 car pile up… take a detour and try a new road.   Don’t keep thinking about the past – it does not help. UNLESS you are gaining knowledge to better yourself; it’s best to stay away from memories.  They will only make your stomach clench with sickness about why you need to contact your ex. Trust me – that’s a bad idea. Avoid that accident.
• Keep it moving! Get off your butt and do something. Laying around in a dark, cold room that is much like your heart (dark and cold) get up, get out, and get moving. Otherwise you will continue to be upset and bitter.
• Don’t try to rebound. It only hurts you and the other person – don’t spread the negativity.  Do not date again until you’re ready and you feel good about yourself.  Unsatisfying sex will just make you feel even more disconnected from the world.  There’s nothing like forced intimacy to remind you that you’re alone and sad right now.
• The sun is your friend.  If the sun is shining – try to get out and enjoy it for at least 30 minutes.
• Your FRIENDS are your FRIEND.  Reach out and talk to people if you need to (just remember they might say something that you don’t want to hear)  Go hang out, keep your mind occupied, and enjoy the company of other human beings.
• And lastly, remember that even in your weakest moments you will be okay.  Those moments in time that seem like you can’t get over it – remember yes you can. That sick feeling in your stomach will subside, those thoughts will pass, and everything will work out just the way it’s supposed to.

If you want to fix that broken heart… try to follow at least some of these rules.  This is just a reminder that you are not alone – there are many of us suffering from a craptastic breakup and a few rules never hurt. I happen to know they help!

… And if you’re wondering what does SHE know?!? Well, I know that my heart feels heavy, I am battling this extremely difficult breakup every day, and I truly am going through these emotions! I am trying my very hardest to follow these rules every single day. The struggle is real 😉

~Cris